This car in front of me was giving me a real shitty look.
I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED THE HORROR OF AMNESIA:THE DARK DESCENT!
Mad thanks to all you good looking people who watched all of these awful videos.
You know how sometimes you’ll hear about a movie and you can’t decide whether the idea sounds really fucking awesome or really stupid? It’s like there’s a brand of “so rad to the point of absurdity” that can only result in failure. Look at the Transformers movies, or Godzilla, or fucking Sharknado even.
On it’s face you have a singular “awesome” concept. Giant robots that turn into cars. A giant monster fighting other giant monsters. A fucking Tornado made of Sharks. But then it turns out that the face is all there is. No body, not even a head attached. Just a loose bit of skin with some features that would be distinguishable if it had a skull behind it, but instead it’s just stretched out over a canvas.
And that results in a big ugly spectacle of a film. Yeah it’s big and flashy and draws a crowd, but there’s no actual fucking movie there.
But every now and then you’ll hear about a movie that sounds like it has every right to be a shlock film with no depth, no body to speak of, but it turns out to be fantastic.
Pacific Rim was one of them. It took an absurd concept and played it straight enough to actually develop a world and a few characters , but had enough fun that it could still bash a giant robot in the face with a freight liner.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes was another. Even watching the trailers I thought it looked like the stupidest thing I’d ever seen. Fucking monkeys taking over San Francisco or some shit? Please. However, I was completely wrong, and it ended up being one of the most emotionally compelling movies I had seen in some time. All about a friggin monkey. And mad props to Andy Serkis for bringing that emotion to the table. Because not only was it a well directed, brilliantly acted, and surprisingly well written film, it was also breaking new ground technically, which is something movies don’t strive for anymore. The motion capture techniques they used in that film allowed for Andy Serkis to bring a powerhouse performance to an animal. The slightest movement of his eyes can make you fall in love with Caesar.
Which brings me (finally) to my point. After watching, loving and rewatching Rise of The Planet of The Apes, I had no hesitation whatsoever in my excitement for the sequel. There wasn’t any point that I thought maybe it wouldn’t be as good. And having just finished seeing it, I can say that it’s easily better in every way. Again, here’s a movie where they’ve built an entire world, it gets you involved with the characters, most of whom are fucking monkeys and it makes you care about them and their struggles. AND if it’s even possible, the effects are even more stunning. You’d never know they weren’t real apes just by looking at them.(aside from the whole talking and whatnot)
But there was a point in that film when I realized; “holy shit, I’m watching a Chimpanzee on horseback dual wield LMG’s and ride through a fiery explosion.”
There is NO fucking way that scene has any right being as fucking amazing as it is. it SOUNDS like it’s both the stupidest and coolest thing ever which means it should be in a piece of shit SyFy original movie called “Horseback Monkey Attack 4: Jockey’s Revenge.” Yet I was sold on the entire thing. In any other circumstance this is a scene I would roll my eyes at, but it was played completely straight amid an intense bit of the movie where you’re afraid for the characters lives.
So in conclusion, Bravo to everyone who made Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. It might actually be the best movie I’ve seen all year. Bravo for turning a ludicrous concept into an inexplicably compelling story, and bravo for making such great strides in motion capture performance. This film truly is a treasure to cinema.
I made a video with my co-host from my Podcast.
In an unprecedented turn of events, we are back for the second consecutive week in a row! It’s fucking crazy, I know.
To start off, I tried to explain the circumstances behind this amazing idea I had, but I end up just sounding like a freak. Personally I…
Reblogging my own podcast because IDGAF.
EA was offering a 48 hour free all-you-can-play trial of Titanfall, so I tried it out.
I’m not very good at it.
Have you ever wondered WHO ARE The Jesus Bros?
Well wonder no more because you can come on an adventure with us to see X-Men Days of Future Past.
Oh man, these guys seem like they’re really super cool.
Like, right now.
So I’m going to link all of them.